I don't understand.

technically imbalance

i just don't understand with myself lately.
i couldn't even control my feelin'
i kept crying for something stupid.
i got frustrated by little things.
i wanted some answers for my unimportant questions.
i missed my childhood much.
i craved for something abstrack.
and so on and so on..

08.09.10

eight nine ten.

such a good line of numbers i think :)

Well, last Wednesday 08.09.10 i went to Dufan to do some fun with some of my pals, just like what i wrote on the previous post.
It was fun, totally amusing! hehe
Dufan wasn't so busy, so we didn't need to queue in some of vehicles. especially for arung jeram, we played it 7 times hahahaha.

from left: vaness.sasongko.peppy.cindi.me.ciponk.aswin.keket.(amul took the picture)

yeah, i'll keep this as a memory. thanks! and i'm sure, soon i'll miss this moment.
  
We do not remember days, we remember moments.  -Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand

 "One of the greatest things about being a teenager is the sharing, the closeness and the great times you have with your friends."
---Unknown

♥,

jane

friendship

"You may find another me but I’ll never look for another you. You may care for another me but I’ll care for no one but you. Know why? Cause they can never be you."

 just a quick post. good night universe.

♥,

jane

now or never

September list

1 go to dufan with some of my friends
2 buy gerbera daisies for myself
3 go to Kota Tua
4 have my mid semester test
5 do some meetings
6 have quality time with my girls
7 swim
8 have the town's library id card
9 be a good driver
10 get some good scores
11 do the 500 words essay
12 online shopping
13 do some crazy projects
14 do something with my Robin Koch
15 girl's projects with my sis
16 have a quality time with my family
17 buy some chocolates and chitato-es
18 buy a new pair of shoes
19 spend good times with my hen-hao-pengyou
20 meet new people
21 go to the beach
22 be a better person


life is just like a war, once you start, it'll never be the same as before.

♥,

jane

gerbera

"cause you're the sunshine of my life"

♥,

jane

hmm

hey. dah lama ga nulis. hehehe
skrg gw udh kls 11. udah 16 taun.
bisa dibilang smakin dewasa, wlopun blm spenuhnya.

apa yg gw mau? sbernya sederhana.
gw harap semua org yg ada di sekitar gw bs seneng bisa bahagia bisa nyaman sm gw.
kesannya bullshit? gw rasa ngga. hampir semua org mau kaya gtu ko.

tapi kita ga selalu bisa dapetin apa yg kita mau kan?
sebesar apapun gw berusaha buat ngertiin org laen, buat bkin org laen bahagia, yg namanya hidup ada terang ada gelap. ada cahaya ada bayangan.

kadang2 kita butuh untuk selalu tersenyum disaat hati kita sbnarnya menangis bahkan marah. untuk apa? bukan untuk munafik tapi untuk menjadi seseorg yg jauh lbh dewasa, seseorg yg bisa tahan emosi, dan seseorg yg bs menjaga perasaan org lain.

tapi apa manusia pernah puas? gw rasa ngga.
disaat kita disakitin dan kita cuma ketawa, apa itu bakal bkin org yg nyakitin kita puas? ngga.

jadi harus gmna?

gw rasa itu bukan pertanyaan yg baik. dulu, gw slalu mkir gtu, gw slalu bertanya-tanya sm diri gw sndiri. apa yg sbnrnya harus gw lakuin?
lama-lama.. gw tau. ga ada gunanya.
karena emg ga pernah ada jawaban yg pas ko.

gw berusaha baik sm semua org. being someone better.
tapi pada faktanya, manusia lbh mudah melihat bahkan mencari-cari kelemahan seseorg untuk dia serang daripada kebaikan yg ada.

saat ini, yah gw tetep berusaha untuk menjadi seseorg yg lbh baik dan sesedikit mungkin menyakiti org laen. gw tetep jd diri gw sendiri.

apa masih aja ada org yg ga suka sm gw? pasti ada ko karna ga semua org sama kan? :)
mgkin beberapa org bisa menerima gw, dan beberapa org juga bisa ga terima.
yah itulah kehidupan.

i'm just accepting myself for who i am.

gw rasa, disaat gw mencoba untuk mengabaikan hal2 yg sesungguhnya mengganggu gw, gw tetep tersenyum, sbetulnya itulah arti kuat yg sesungguhnya.

gw emg ga sempurna, kesempurnaan cuma milik Tuhan.

gwpun ga berharap gw punya kesempurnaan, karena guru gw pernah bilang dan kata2 ini cukup jadi doktrin buat gw. "saya rasa ketika saya dapat melakukan segalanya, sya memiliki segalanya, Tuhan tidak akan perduli pada saya."

bukannya gw mau jd org yg serba kekurangan. bukan. tapi gw mau menjadi diri gw apa adanya, gw ga akan mengejar kesempurnaan yg memang ngga ditakdirkan untuk gw milikin.
mencintai diri sendiri sebagai kita apa adanya, gw rasa, itu pengertian sempurna yg sesungguhnya.

jadii, gw tetep jd diri gw sndiri. gw terima siapapun yg benci sm gw. dan gw berterimakasih untuk semua yg sayang sm gw.

Hidup ga selalu mulus, tapi itulah yg bkin seru. :)

♥,

Jane

when i was fifteen....

i was on my last year in junior high when i got my fifteen

i was in a relation then being single when i was fifteen

i felt the power of friendship when i was fifteen

i knew the thirstiness of my soul when i was fifteen

i started to listen every words that comes out from my soul when i was fifteen

i started to take a very careful care on my soul when i was fifteen

i knew how to love without hesitate when i was fifteen

i believed for my life's destination when i was fifteen

i met my brother when i was fifteen

i heard someone say "look, i'll smile and this is just for you" when i was fifteen

i made this blog when i was fifteen

i knew lots of peeps when i was fifteen

i tried something different when i was fifteen

i fell in love with Bali when i was fifteen

i was fifteen when i got my first year in senior high

i got my insomnia when i was fifteen

i cried a lot when i was fifteen

i laughed a lot when i was fifteen

i knew how's the feel of exhausted when i was fifteen

i had a lot of problems when i was fifteen

i passed the nightmare when i was fifteen

i was being a good-feminine-rebel-argumentative-independent mommy's girl when i was fifteen

i knew the real life's of being a teenager when i was fifteen

and i kept a promise that i will always love my life even it's good or bad when i was fifteen

wait. i'm using "when i was fifteen."

haha, i should use "when i am fifteen" for today and using was start from tomorrow.

Ya, today is the last day i'm being fifteen

sad? a little.

gonna miss it? i guess so.

hate sixteen? no of course.

how's your feeling, Jane? complicated

honestly i love my fifteen and wishing for more days in my fifteen. Though i'm gonna miss my fifteen but now i'm enjoying my last fifteen.

some pictures of my fifteen:

♥ 08 april 2009

♥ last year on junior high

 

♥ art exhibition

 

♥ kidzania with stela, eva, berber

♥ senior high

  

 

♥ tarphrodite

♥ champion

  

♥ st. monica

 

♥ study tour

 

♥ reunion

 

 ♥ family

 

♥ Bali

  another pics of Bali click here

♥ other

♥ my Baby See

  

♥ i ate my teacher's dunkin donut

  

i will miss my fifteen, really.

and wish me a lovely sixteen's life.

peeps, remember love yourself, love ur life then you can love people you love and be loved, click here

:D

♥,

jane

p.s  turut berduka untuk daerah yg baru aja terkena gempa. semoga ga ada lagi gempa dan musibah2 llainnya. amin. dan good luck buat superliga bsk futsal SMA Recis, wish u guys all the best.